Indeed, yes, they do.
I am angry. Damn fucking angry.
Why, you ask.
I'm angry at how I was treated when I was an oncology patient. I'm angry that fucking doctors lied to my face, lied to my husband, deliberately misled and lied by omission by knowingly and intentionally keeping information from me and my husband so I/we could make truly informed consent decisions regarding my health, this includes the fucking bitch known as lymphedema. I'm angry about the sexualization, trivialization, and trendy-ization of the disease known as breast cancer. And...no, I don't keep quiet about any of it.
Periodically, this person tells me that they find my anger disturbing and upsetting and that I should be on anti-depressants. I've politely attempted to explain that I'm not depressed. I'm angry. (There is a huge fucking difference.)
I've attempted to politely explain that because I'm not willing to keep quiet about any of this, I don't pink wash, glitter, or ribbon any of this shit, that I'm speaking up for other people who are either too afraid to speak up, don't realize they can, or are encouraged to finally speak up, or decide they can speak up and verbalize their anger, frustration, etc. Some already were speaking up, others hadn't, others will. I AM giving a voice to those who cannot or will not speak up for fear of condemnation and harassment of others who are (grossly mistakenly) mired in the the grossly mistaken belief that cancer patients should be fucking happy, happy, happy all the fucking time. It is a gross disservice to us as people and dehumanizes us by expecting impossibly "perfect" behavior of us. So, if you are or have been doing this, please fucking put an end to it.
There's a game I play on fakebook and I decided to say that pinkwashing causes October to be the worst month ever and that I hate pink. My user pic for the entire month was a pic of my upper chest, scars from a bilateral mastectomy because that's what I was told would "cure" me. (Well, that turned out to be a lie. I'll never technically be considered "cured" but as long as I don't need "active treatment" then yay for that.) That picture of the vile scars on my upper chest is what breast cancer truly is as a reality, not pink ribbons. I politely asked that people refrain from posting reminders about anything pink because the color doesn't do anything for anyone dealing with any kind of cancer. I also stated if that bothered anyone, they could block me and I wouldn't be offended. (Yes, I genuinely meant that because some people get into an absolute bitch snit fit when I say I hate pink ribbons.) With a thank you, I also said people were welcome to do a search on fakebook for the Flat & Fabulous group if they happened to be a flattie or uni since lots of women don't get recon done.
I'll leave you with some things people have said to me because of my bitchitude (bitchy attitude). (Names omitted to respect the privacy of these people who were kind enough to tell me what they felt was important to say.)
"I was a nurse. I was a good nurse, I cared about my patients. I fucking hate what this disease has ripped away from me and continues ripping away from me. Please keep saying what you've been saying so maybe someone will understand better what this horrible disease does to people."
"I hate October. All it does is remind me I had cancer and my mastectomy."
"The pinkwash is so in your face. Blatantly so and this is something I need no reminder of. I hate it now."
"I went through the same thing you did, so I know how you feel."
"I agree with your pink rant. Selling pink things does not help prevent breast cancer. There aren't even any answers about what actually causes it."
"May I share your perspective on pinkness? You are very brave to speak up. I have not had breast cancer, but a family member has and she feels the same way you do."
"Your perspective makes perfect sense to me, so I'm glad you've shared your thoughts."
"I couldn't agree with you more about the pink. Thank you for having the courage to say what I've been thinking for years now."
"I agree with you completely!"
"A family member had a mastectomy years ago, with chemo, then chemo again. I don't like pink, either."
"Big hugs to you! I've had a bilateral mastectomy with no recon or implants. I like pink, but I'd like to see cancer eliminated because the cures are as bad as the disease. You aren't alone!"
"Pink doesn't do anything for me, either. I am a breast cancer survivor. A mammogram missed the cancer I had, it was only through the SBE that I found mine and insisted on follow up care."
"I agree with you about the ribbons for any kind of cancer. A family member had cancer and action is what is needed. I don't have any emotional attachment to pink, but I understand. Huge hugs to you."
"I agree with you, I don't think pink ribbons help. More direct action should be preferred like educating women about SBEs and their breast health overall."
"So sorry you had to endure that. You are very transparent and brave to put up your photo for people to see."
"Keep telling people! It's the truth! Isn't it funny how the media won't allow opinions like yours to be shared with the general public? That tells you something, doesn't it? Glad you're not allowing yourself to be silenced and I hope you're cancer free forever! Hugs!"
"Thank you for highlighting the unglamorous side of this disease, the side that sufferers have to put up with. I commend you and send you hugs."
"Your commentary about pink is very insightful. I'm also a cancer survivor, but not of breast cancer. At first, I tried to be supportive and raise money, then I started doing research into what happens to the millions of dollars that people raise. After a huge percentage of administrative costs, it all goes to feed a corrupt big pharma industry that will not support and will even suppress treatments that don't generate profits for them. It's all about money and not saving lives or relieving suffering. We need to take matters into our own hands by trying to be healthier with organic products, refusing GMO products that can make us sick, etc. I hope you are cancer free. I have been for three years. Bless you."
"You deserve thanks for writing what you do. It shows extreme courage! Hopefully your firsthand knowledge will help open a few people's minds!"
"It's always such a relief to know I'm not the only one who refuses to buy into the cutesy crap on sale everywhere that doesn't do anything to help men and women suffering from breast cancer. The big pharma industry has no interest is seeing an actual cure because their profits would decrease and we all know they don't want to lose any money."
"My best friend died from breast cancer and she didn't like pink. Hugs."
"Your post caught my attention. I have a friend with breast cancer and she'd asked me not to buy into all the pink stuff on her behalf. She's asked that we donate to MBC. Stay strong!"
"I read your post and I applaud your candor and your courage. Thank you for your honesty."
"I feel the same way. I cared for family members who died from cancer and there was no support for me. I think you're brilliant. Stay strong. Hugs."
"You are a true trooper and I'm glad you're my friend. I lost a sister to cancer. Be strong."
"Hi. I wanted to leave you a message and let you know I love what you have to say and that you're not alone in how you feel."
So, let's tally that up. One person who thinks I have a shitty attitude and...twenty-seven who agree with me and believe in what I'm saying. I think I'll take that twenty-seven over that one any day of the week.
I am angry. Damn fucking angry.
Why, you ask.
I'm angry at how I was treated when I was an oncology patient. I'm angry that fucking doctors lied to my face, lied to my husband, deliberately misled and lied by omission by knowingly and intentionally keeping information from me and my husband so I/we could make truly informed consent decisions regarding my health, this includes the fucking bitch known as lymphedema. I'm angry about the sexualization, trivialization, and trendy-ization of the disease known as breast cancer. And...no, I don't keep quiet about any of it.
Periodically, this person tells me that they find my anger disturbing and upsetting and that I should be on anti-depressants. I've politely attempted to explain that I'm not depressed. I'm angry. (There is a huge fucking difference.)
I've attempted to politely explain that because I'm not willing to keep quiet about any of this, I don't pink wash, glitter, or ribbon any of this shit, that I'm speaking up for other people who are either too afraid to speak up, don't realize they can, or are encouraged to finally speak up, or decide they can speak up and verbalize their anger, frustration, etc. Some already were speaking up, others hadn't, others will. I AM giving a voice to those who cannot or will not speak up for fear of condemnation and harassment of others who are (grossly mistakenly) mired in the the grossly mistaken belief that cancer patients should be fucking happy, happy, happy all the fucking time. It is a gross disservice to us as people and dehumanizes us by expecting impossibly "perfect" behavior of us. So, if you are or have been doing this, please fucking put an end to it.
There's a game I play on fakebook and I decided to say that pinkwashing causes October to be the worst month ever and that I hate pink. My user pic for the entire month was a pic of my upper chest, scars from a bilateral mastectomy because that's what I was told would "cure" me. (Well, that turned out to be a lie. I'll never technically be considered "cured" but as long as I don't need "active treatment" then yay for that.) That picture of the vile scars on my upper chest is what breast cancer truly is as a reality, not pink ribbons. I politely asked that people refrain from posting reminders about anything pink because the color doesn't do anything for anyone dealing with any kind of cancer. I also stated if that bothered anyone, they could block me and I wouldn't be offended. (Yes, I genuinely meant that because some people get into an absolute bitch snit fit when I say I hate pink ribbons.) With a thank you, I also said people were welcome to do a search on fakebook for the Flat & Fabulous group if they happened to be a flattie or uni since lots of women don't get recon done.
I'll leave you with some things people have said to me because of my bitchitude (bitchy attitude). (Names omitted to respect the privacy of these people who were kind enough to tell me what they felt was important to say.)
"I was a nurse. I was a good nurse, I cared about my patients. I fucking hate what this disease has ripped away from me and continues ripping away from me. Please keep saying what you've been saying so maybe someone will understand better what this horrible disease does to people."
"I hate October. All it does is remind me I had cancer and my mastectomy."
"The pinkwash is so in your face. Blatantly so and this is something I need no reminder of. I hate it now."
"I went through the same thing you did, so I know how you feel."
"I agree with your pink rant. Selling pink things does not help prevent breast cancer. There aren't even any answers about what actually causes it."
"May I share your perspective on pinkness? You are very brave to speak up. I have not had breast cancer, but a family member has and she feels the same way you do."
"Your perspective makes perfect sense to me, so I'm glad you've shared your thoughts."
"I couldn't agree with you more about the pink. Thank you for having the courage to say what I've been thinking for years now."
"I agree with you completely!"
"A family member had a mastectomy years ago, with chemo, then chemo again. I don't like pink, either."
"Big hugs to you! I've had a bilateral mastectomy with no recon or implants. I like pink, but I'd like to see cancer eliminated because the cures are as bad as the disease. You aren't alone!"
"Pink doesn't do anything for me, either. I am a breast cancer survivor. A mammogram missed the cancer I had, it was only through the SBE that I found mine and insisted on follow up care."
"I agree with you about the ribbons for any kind of cancer. A family member had cancer and action is what is needed. I don't have any emotional attachment to pink, but I understand. Huge hugs to you."
"I agree with you, I don't think pink ribbons help. More direct action should be preferred like educating women about SBEs and their breast health overall."
"So sorry you had to endure that. You are very transparent and brave to put up your photo for people to see."
"Keep telling people! It's the truth! Isn't it funny how the media won't allow opinions like yours to be shared with the general public? That tells you something, doesn't it? Glad you're not allowing yourself to be silenced and I hope you're cancer free forever! Hugs!"
"Thank you for highlighting the unglamorous side of this disease, the side that sufferers have to put up with. I commend you and send you hugs."
"Your commentary about pink is very insightful. I'm also a cancer survivor, but not of breast cancer. At first, I tried to be supportive and raise money, then I started doing research into what happens to the millions of dollars that people raise. After a huge percentage of administrative costs, it all goes to feed a corrupt big pharma industry that will not support and will even suppress treatments that don't generate profits for them. It's all about money and not saving lives or relieving suffering. We need to take matters into our own hands by trying to be healthier with organic products, refusing GMO products that can make us sick, etc. I hope you are cancer free. I have been for three years. Bless you."
"You deserve thanks for writing what you do. It shows extreme courage! Hopefully your firsthand knowledge will help open a few people's minds!"
"It's always such a relief to know I'm not the only one who refuses to buy into the cutesy crap on sale everywhere that doesn't do anything to help men and women suffering from breast cancer. The big pharma industry has no interest is seeing an actual cure because their profits would decrease and we all know they don't want to lose any money."
"My best friend died from breast cancer and she didn't like pink. Hugs."
"Your post caught my attention. I have a friend with breast cancer and she'd asked me not to buy into all the pink stuff on her behalf. She's asked that we donate to MBC. Stay strong!"
"I read your post and I applaud your candor and your courage. Thank you for your honesty."
"I feel the same way. I cared for family members who died from cancer and there was no support for me. I think you're brilliant. Stay strong. Hugs."
"You are a true trooper and I'm glad you're my friend. I lost a sister to cancer. Be strong."
"Hi. I wanted to leave you a message and let you know I love what you have to say and that you're not alone in how you feel."
So, let's tally that up. One person who thinks I have a shitty attitude and...twenty-seven who agree with me and believe in what I'm saying. I think I'll take that twenty-seven over that one any day of the week.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Thank you. I apologize for the lack of a reply to the comment/s you have left, however every time I attempt to reply to a comment someone has left, blogger eats my reply. This is something I have yet to figure out how to fix. Thank you for your time.
Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.