An adventure with Streak and potentially soft feet and why I do this.

In this post, contained herein, you will learn about an an adventure I had the other day with Streak.  No, she doesn't streak, she's my neighbor who has four foot long hair that she puts a colored streak in for fun.  Like a skunk, but without the skunk smell.  We'll call her husband Mr. Streak, for future reference, and their two children Doodlehopper and Strawberry.

Mr. Streak was at work, so Streak was taking Doodlehopper and Strawberry for an outing.  They decided to invite me along, so I agreed to go.  We're in Clifford, their Red Vehicle and go to the drive through of a Famous Drive Through Place with a Character. She orders a snack for Doodlehopper and Strawberry and is told to drive to the next window.  This PERSON appears from the corner of the window inside and scared Streak and I to the point of screaming, then laughing ourselves silly because we were so traumatized by The Personality at Said Drive Through.  I told her it was miraculous that I'd not dropped the F bomb in front of the two children in the backseat because it had scared me so badly.  (Really, clowns ARE scary in whatever form they're in.)

Going out and about with Streak can result in some interesting adventures.  That particular one was being traumatized by a clown.

On to potentially soft feet...I'm on the big low/no shampoo hair group on fakebook.  One of the more moisturizing things used on dry hair is coconut milk.  I read posts about it and decided that I should do something nice for my hair since I hadn't done that since before it all fell out.  So, coconut milk was my decision.  What an interesting decision it was, let me tell you.

No, my hair wasn't overly dry, nor in need of massive conditioning, it's in fabulous shape since it's been treated to non-conventional hair care methods.  I dumped an entire 13.5 ounce can of coconut milk on my head and let it sit for a while.  Oh, that was definitely a way to make my skin happy, my hair not so much.  My hair needed rinsed and rinsed and rinsed and then I washed it with baking soda and lemon juice.  I braided it and slept on it and it still looked wet. Definitely over conditioned, I'd say.  I finally managed to get my hair straightened out from that.  My skin stayed soft for days.  That is probably the most normal and the best my skin has felt since before chemo three years ago.  (Chemo is vile and destroys everything in the human body, not just the bad cells.)

I decided that since the skin on my feet is so dry, I would get another can of coconut milk and pour it into ice cube trays to freeze and then toss one or two cylinders (Yes, I have the round ice cube trays, it's kind of nerdy, I know, but fun.) into the tub for my skin; I'd just have to make sure my hair is pulled up in my spin pins that Streak was kind enough to gift me with.  (I felt like I had graduated with the hair from ponytail sock bun to French twist with spin pins only, no ponytail needed.)  Anyway, I'm thinking this coconut milk might make a fabulous foot soak to straighten out the skin on my feet.  When I do that, I'll post the results here.

And why I do this...Well, I made the effort to be as healthy as possible.  I was very active, ate vegetarian / pescetarian / organic / kosher as much as I possibly could and had been doing that for some time.  I wound up up being diagnosed with invasive in ductal HER2+ grade three stage three breast cancer three years ago.  My functionality as a wife and mom went out the window and my world imploded with all the force of an atomic bomb.  I was subjected to multiple surgeries, did chemo for six months, had a bilateral mastectomy done, and then did six more months of chemo.  Some of the chemo I was subjected to contained chemical components of Agent Orange in it.  Chemo kills so many people, it's not even funny and how I'm still alive after the year I spent very nearly dead, I will never know.  Probably because Lucifer isn't equipped to deal with me yet.  And yes, I do say that to people's faces when they asked me why am I still alive.  It's generally pretty funny to see their reaction.

(Just so you know, because many people don't, breast cancer isn't necessarily genetic.  It is not connected with lifestyle, choice of birth control, if someone breastfed their children or not, or age or any number of factors that the so-called experts claim without citing sources.)

Definitely more aware of chemicals now more than ever before, I had no idea where to start.  Yes, I'd lost my hair after one dose of poison chemo.  I shaved my head myself, what little hair there was left to shave.  I did a year of chemo and at the end of that year, my hair was filled in, yes, but not growing.  We relocated because of my husband's job, almost immediately after the last chemo infusion I was given.

Fast forward six months.  My hair was still not growing.  To say it wasn't growing was an understatement.  All it did was stick out and I hated it.  Before getting sick, I had decent hair--I liked my hair.  I was happy with my hair.  I would get a good eighteen to twenty inches cut off every other year and donate it to Pantene Beautiful Lengths because they took hair donations to make human hair wigs for people who lost their hair to chemo.

I was on a quest for something to make my hair grow and get past this not-growing-sticking-out stage, but I wasn't certain where to start, so I started doing research.  I found Code Red Hat and started reading.  I read and read and read.  Then I read some more.  Surely it couldn't be that easy to stop using conventional hair care products and...get my hair to actually grow again?  I could get it to grow and be decent without the vile chemicals of conventional products?  Seriously?  This could be interesting, I thought.  The problem was, the hair growing on my head wasn't my hair.  My hair had been very straight and this hair was curly, as in sticking out curly.  At my age, I didn't want to start over learning how to deal with different hair.  If other people want to do that, that is fine for them.  I didn't want to have to do that, though.

An inexpensive bottle of clarifying shampoo was my next purchase.  I used it, and then I waited a few days.  Not noticing any difference in my hair, I washed it with a paste of diluted baking soda and rinsed it with apple cider vinegar.  Any use of baking soda MUST be followed with an acidic rinse or risk damage to the hair, which was not my goal.

There are so many awesome alternative and simple methods of hair cleaning and hair care, it's not even funny.  And even better, I'm not putting nasty, vile chemicals on my hair.  I started this method of hair care with hair that was about an inch to an inch and a half long.  Fifteen months later, my hair is nearly halfway down my back.  It's shiny, it's healthy, it's straight.  (That's yet another post--I accidentally straightened my hair with a rice flour wash a couple of months ago.)

Since starting this alternative hair care thing, I've put many interesting things in my hair, none of them bad.  I've learned I can make my own toothpaste, laundry detergent, fabric softener, cleaning products, and other assorted various items that *I* know what they are and what's in them because I make them myself.

So, why I do this?  It's because I'm not interested in being subjected to chemicals and toxins that I don't know what they are.  (An added bonus, I'm not putting money into the pockets of some nameless, faceless corporate entity who doesn't give a flying fuck if I even exist or not because they only want some of my money.)

Lifestyles of the not so notorious and crumbly--

Nikki, over at http://prettylittlepaperthings.blogspot.com/ is on a hair group with me on fakebook.  She has a phrase she uses that's for people who aren't completely crunchy, but are interested in furthering their experience with the crunchy lifestyle by incorporating more natural means for living, be it making cleaning products, not using conventional means for hair products, or being more aware of recycling; in other words, dipping the toes into the making of and using less conventional products.  (No, don't run away, I'm not a bleeding heart liberal tree hugger.  I'm pro-gun, pro-military, and pro-cannabis; think Constitutional Libertarian, or Libertarian Constituionalist; you get the idea.  I'm also a former oncology patient, which is the reason I got started with looking for healthier options for whatever I'm doing, be it making my own toothpaste, laundry soap, or shampoo; more about that later, though.)

So, welcome to Lifestyles of the Crumbly.  There's no telling what you might find on here, if you find something useful, great.  If not, keep looking, maybe you'll find it somewhere.  No, I'm not a licensed medical professional, nor do I portray one on the internet, however I am a very opinionated stay at home wife of one husband, mom of three sons, and mother in law to one awesome daughter in law.  And I'm owned by two cats.  (My previous cat went over the Rainbow Bridge back in October of last year and I still miss him.  Tigger was awesome.)

I will not put things on here that I have not or will not do myself or know of someone else doing/evaluating personally.  For example, awhile back on the hair group on fakebook, someone came in and trolled everyone with a supposedly innocent question about a "natural" product for use on hair...except it was a rather questionably potentially dangerous substance, and one that I wouldn't put on my hair or advise anyone putting on their hair.

That said, if you have a product that you would like me to evaluate, I'll be happy to do so, provided it's natural and safe for human use/consumption.  (I am also a freelance writer and editor who loves equids.  I know, who knew, right?)

And here I sit, listening to 2/3 of my sons bellowing about video games and bullets.  I think perhaps I should find some coffee, but first, a little disclaimer.  There will be use of the F bomb on occasion, so if this offends you, oh well.  There is a back button, it's a good thing to use on occasion.  I'll try to behave myself most of the time, though.  Just saying.

But first, the post that led to this from the hair group on fakebook and yes, there will be explanations for much of this content in upcoming posts.

My youngest is playing football. I'm cooking like three and sometimes four full meals a day for him. I picked him up from practice, stopped off to see the nice men with the medicinal use petition for November's ballot, and come home to cook. I cook the youngest his second breakfast, two soft taco shells with smoky cheddar and mesquite chicken, and promptly go right on into cooking lunch for us and the college monkey, who has class.

Earlier this morning, I had shaved my legs with coconut oil/baking soda and found it works fabulously well. While pondering that success and tossing it out on here for others to potentially try, I was putting together skillet mess. That entailed cutting up three to five pounds of potatoes and boiling them, while they boil, throw a stick of butter into a skillet, dice half a large onion and throw that into the butter to caramelize it, cut up some smoked sausage or polksa kielbasa, a pound or two, and throw that in with the onions. Drain the potatoes boiling in the water--NO! I realized halfway through draining the potatoes that there was a reason I'd been happy to be fixing this, because I would have potato water to put in my hair. But no! I halfway drain the potatoes out of habit and then stop. Must save the potato water that's left! Must have it! I get another pan, rig straining the potatoes to save the rest of the water, turns out it was MOST of the water, more than I realized, so yay for that, right?

I put the potatoes into the skillet with the butter, onion, and sausage, and let that all cook together and tell the monkeys, "Don't throw out the potato water. I need it for my hair." For being teenage males, I have to say they have adjusted well to my hair-spiramentation. Or would that be hair-scapades? Either way, I fixed myself a bowl of skillet mess and sat down to type this out so that people would A--know that coconut oil and baking soda make a nice shave paste for shaving the legs, and B--for the sake of hair science again, I will be putting the potato water in my hair to see what it does.

(For the sake of documenting further adventures in lifestyles of the crumbly and not notorious, I was pondering chronicling the crumbly effect with a blog, but not sure if anyone would want to read it.)

(I may be fat and breastless, but by damn, I will have decent hair, regardless.)